


The Pain That We Think We Deserve

by 5sosquiff



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: 5 Seconds Of Summer Imagines, Daddy Kink, Death, F/M, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Suicide, Why Did I Write This?, triggering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-02
Updated: 2015-06-02
Packaged: 2018-04-02 12:56:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4060834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/5sosquiff/pseuds/5sosquiff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You look up into his eyes and you can see it. The want to be wanted the need to be needed. To be so dependent and scared of everyone in your already small family. You can see his loneliness, his regret, his shame. </p>
<p>But most of all you can see his anger.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Pain That We Think We Deserve

You walk down the crowded superficial hallway of your even more superficial school. You wrap your hands around your books tightly eyes glued to the ground. You could hear his loud obnoxious voice coming to walk passed you just like he has all school year. Your heart skips a beat because you know he's going to do something. He's always done something like trip you or push you knocking your books down.

You bite the inside of your mouth just waiting for the blow but it never came.

You turn around and watch as Ashton continues to walk down the hall not pushing you or hurting you but just ignoring you.

You turn back around to see a few other onlookers just as shocked and that's when you begin to panic because you know that tonight he's going to be extra ruff with you. Something must have happened to make him so pissed that he forgot to bully you.

You continue your day anxiously waiting for tonight knowing that a beating is going to come. Your leg is always bouncing and when it's not it's because your looking at the clock trying to see what time it is.

By the time the bell rings your the last to leave your class and your feet are dragging toward the door.

"Y/N are you ok?" Mrs. Wood your English teacher asked you, her eyes flickering toward your bruised wrists before meeting your eyes.

"Y-Yeah I'm f-fine." You rush out of the classroom pulling your sweater down despite the hot weather telling you to take it off. You have so many bruises are your arms that you know your going to have to wear long selves for the rest of your high school life.

You walk down the steps of the school and make your way over to your step brothers car wincing as you see smoke leaving the window. You climb in looking down at the floor your books on your lap.

Ashton said nothing. He just puts the cigaret in his mouth before putting the jeep in reverse and starting your long drive home.

The both of you are sitting at the dinner table eating the pasta you made. Both of your parents travel a lot for their work so most of the time your alone with him. The both of you stick to your usual routine of avoiding each other until dinner. You make dinner at around 6 and eat together on this large dinner table. You've always eat together and despite the both of you not saying a word to the other it's still comforting and less lonely than eating alone. 

After you ate you cleaned the dishes while he watches T.V. By the time you're done washing the dishes it's 8 and your tired as hell.

You walk up the stairs and head straight to bed knowing that tonight is going to be a long night.

You lay down in your bed and soon fall asleep.

 

You wake up hearing a creek from your door being closed. You sit up and wipe your eyes. You can only see his shadow as he stands above your bed right across from you. You want to ask if he's ok. If he's thinking about it. About what happened to his mom. Picturing it in his brain like you often do about your father. Remembering the blood, the grief, the numbness of witnessing your own parents suicide. 

You look up into his eyes and you can see it. The want to be wanted the need to be needed. To be so dependent and scared of everyone in your already small family. You can see his loneliness, his regret, his shame. 

But most of all you can see his anger.

He climbs up your bed grabs your wrists with one big hand and pulls them up over your head locking them there. You wince from the bruise that was already there from last night but you say nothing.

His other hand tore the bed sheet down away from your naked body. He had told you last time not to wear clothes in your sleep because your beautiful and beautiful people should not be clothed. Not in his house. You wanted to tell him that he shouldn't wear any clothes either because he's just as beautiful but you didn't have the courage to say anything. Not when he's in this state of mind.

You gasp as he grinds on you the thin green fabric of his boxers doing little to hide Ashton's hard on. The head of himself was just peaking out a glaze of precum rubbed onto his boxers leaving a dark green patch.

You arch your back pressing your self against him a he grinds down again. Your breast brush up against his bare chest and you bite your lip to hide a moan. He gets angry at this wanting nothing more then to hear you moan and wither under his touch. He kisses you harshly bruising your lips. He didn't even give you enough time to breathe from the shock of the kiss. You struggle to breath while his tongue claims your mouth as his own. 

Suddenly he gets up standing next to your bed hands at the hem of his boxers. You gasp for breath feeling a bit dizzy from the lack of oxygen. He looks into your eyes while he takes his boxers off. He likes making you watch. Just last week he made you watch him jack off as a punishment. You called him a stupid ass hole in the middle of the schools crowded hallway. After jacking himself off he made you beg for his touch his hands brushing against your nipples and knees spreading your legs apart to keep you in a sex craved haze. 

"Turn around." He said harshly his eyes hungrily watching you.

You frown but complied. He's never asked you to turn around before. He harshly grabs the rest of your comforter and throws it on the ground. You bite your lip feeling a bit exposed. 

" Spread your legs." He demands.

You reluctantly do hearing your heart beat in your ears.

"Get on your knees ass up in the air." 

You do as told shivering in fear as well as anticipation. You can feel yourself starting to doubt that what what guys are doing is right. That what your doing is right. Letting Ashton use you as a punching sex bag. But you know deep down that you love it, love the pain....love him.

You shift your weight on your elbows looking back at Ashton to see him light a cigaret and put it in his lips. You scrunch you nose because you hate kissing him when he smokes but you know better than to say anything.

He inhales the cigaret while his other hand wraps around his semi hard on jerking himself off his eyes burning into yours with no shame the animalistic glint in his eyes had you shivering.

"Head down." He commands.

"Yes daddy." You say with a smirk on your lips knowing that he loves it when you call him daddy.

Suddenly you fling your head back gasping when you feel the sudden burning sensation on your smooth pale ass hearing the loud echoing slap. You swallow hard eyes stinging with tears head back gasping for air to deal with the pain.

"Again." You hear your self say dropping your head down.

You gasp hands coming up to over lap his because one of his giant hands grabbed onto your hair forcing you so your just sitting up on your knees. He leans down and whispers in your ear." Now where are your manners princess?" He pulls on you hair even more making you cry out in pain. He just puts the cigaret back in his mouth taking a long slow drag his right hand lightly tightening his hold on your hair.

"Again please daddy please I need to be punished I want to be punished by you and only you. I want every one to know that I'm yours. Please Daddy?" You say in a whimper.

He slowly let's go of your hair and brings his hand down to clasp around you jaw forcing you to look up at him. His hand runs through his messy wavy hair pushing it back out of his face only for it to plop back down. The cigaret in between his plump lips was getting smaller and smaller. His hazel eyes were bloodshot and cold staring down into your own. The only light in the room was coming in from the window next to him making the light shine on half of his face. He looked like a god, like a man who holds the world on his shoulders.

"Suck me off." He says instead of listening to your plea.

"Yes daddy." You say in the hopes that by listening he'll punish you.

You shuffle a bit so that you are directly across from his hard and leaking member. You're still on your bed and on your knees because your bed is low and Ashton's so tall that it evens out your shortness.

You lean down and lick a stripe up his length right along the throbbing vein and you know it's throbbing because you can feel it under your tongue. You can feel the blood rushing in his veins and see how red and swollen he is. You take him in your mouth slowly going down and hallowing your cheeks like how he told you to do. You look up at him innocently watching him as he grabs onto your hair pushing you down further his other hand taking a quick drag of his cigaret arching his back and looking up at the ceiling his Adam's apple bobbing. 

You gag and your eyes start to water. His hips continue to relentlessly pound into your throat his hand forcing you to go back down.

When he finally let's you go you grab onto his hips pushing them away so that you can actually breath. He just laughs down at you and leans over to squash his cigaret on the ash trey he put on your night stand. 

"Go lay down on the bed Princess on your stomach."

"Yes daddy."

You do as your told on your hands and knees again waiting for the pain that you think that you deserve. The pain that you know you deserve for watching your fathers suicide and doing nothing about it.

35 spanks later your flat on your stomach arms and legs to weak to hold you up. His hands come around your hips lifting them up his fingers digging into your skin overlapping the bruised skin there. He lines himself up giving you no time to adjust before plowing into you. You arch you back moaning from pleasure eyes watering from the glorious feeling of pain.

His long thick length pushing harshly against your walls. Deep and hard thrusts that made your whole body shake with pleasure and making the bed shake as well. You can hear the loud slapping noise of his thighs slamming against yours along with the heavy breathing coming from the both of you. The headboards constant creek echoed throughout the house. One of his large hands wrapped around your neck pushing your head back the other still digging into your hip. He doesn't tighten the hold on your neck he never has he just likes having that power, that control of being able to wrap his hand around your neck.

"Daddy." You moan feeling wet hot tears fall down your face dropping onto his hand. He leans down and kisses your cheek his thrusts becoming faster,shorter, deeper, more desperate, the both of you nearing your high. His chapped lips lightly brushed against your smooth cheek before dragging upward next to your ear.

"I love you." He whispers before the both of you cry out seeing nothing but white.

By the time you come to your senses your head is on his heaving chest, your hair a knotty mess, legs tangled with his sweat making the both of you sticky but your both to tired to do anything about that gross fact.

"I love you to." You say in a childish whisper blushing a bit looking down to embarrassed to look into his eyes.

"Look at me princess." He demands softly, kissing the top of your head. You slowly, reluctantly bring your head up to look into his eyes and you nearly break down in tears at how broken he looks. At how those hazel eyes look into your own as if you are the one and only thing he's living for. That's keeping him alive, that's keeping him from going insane. 

And perhaps you are. 

"I love you Ashton." You say shyly smiling up at him and it must be infectious because for the first time in a long time Ashton smiles to, laughs even. It's a glorious sound, one that makes you laugh as well.

And that's how they found you, naked curled up next to Ashton your remains charcoal and shriveled up along side Ashton's. The house burnt down around the two of you caused by the cigaret Ashton never fully put out. 

Your parents never understood what happened that night and wondered why you guys were even sleeping in the same bed. They blamed themselves for your deaths. For never being home, for never calling to check up on the both of you. 

So they didn't know, didn't understand that dying was your guises wish. That the only reason you were alive was because of Ashton and vice versa. So why go trough the trouble of living life together when you can die together. When now you can truly be happy together sleeping in eternal peace.


End file.
